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life. & so much more./ 1:26 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
  number one meet mou. pronounced mouse without the "s".and number two would be the ant on Suzie, Ma Yi, as the chinese would call it. Horse Aunty. i ve realised the importance of money. gon come up with a saving plan that actually works. my body clock's all upside down now. keep the late hours again. i'm quite determined to get myself back in the school mode, although i must admit, its really tough... sigh. all these and more. financial burden. would anyone feel like i'm a financial burden to them? i don think much of an emotional baggage but more of a financial burden. i hope no one pays for my company i don wanna be labelled social escort man. i just wanna be good company, be a true friend. is tt all very hard? maybe i'm just thinkin too much... oversensitive? or am i just being paranoid? things you think about before you go to sleep sometimes can really keep you up all night. no one's really told me what kinda friend i am to them. i know how much they treasure this friendship, but what ingredients make a good cocktail? not too strong to knock you out, yet not too mild t keep you sober. that lil spice, that lil kick, that wld let you want to keep me as a friend not just kick me aside. im really curious to know. does the x factor really exist? or is it just some convenient excuse to use to summarize everythin? i know i offer the push and pull factor sometimes, but why wld anyone want the push? it's close to half past 4 now, with that stupid noisy ikea clock tickin by my bedside. got an appt at 1130 tmr... plus driving after. sigh. yeah i know. what happened to going to sch? beats me man. i don know what it'll take for me to realise that i'll need to go to school. mould my future, yeah with what? a cake mould? jelly mould? or cookie mould. i want a star shaped one though. not everything goes smooth in life, i know. i guess i'm immune to the down side of life. which... is not a very good thing i must say. i gave this wed night a miss, dont feel like i've missed out on much given the overwhelming crowd that will trample all over my poor toes and the smelly body odour and the cigarette breath. nt like i smell so much better, but i'm sure it beats smelling myself. considering i bathe in my own perfume. haha. i'm starting to talk nonsense, please only take in every sentence in 3 sentences. do i offer that comfort to let people break down in front of me? do i offer that security. i need to know. the previous girlfriends never told me what was it about me that they were attracted to. if only i knew. i could work my charm and play those bitches out. okay, i'm jokin. what charm. mayb the fleece on my backside kinda charm. i'm so amused. i shall leave two animals for your viewing pleasure. |