**
i was writing a comment at his friendster,
and i saw this girl's testimonial for him.
i think its his new girlfriend.
hmmmmm. when i saw it, i felt abit suan.
and then again, i was happy for him.
i thought i got over him long ago.
but i guess i was wrong....

*

met pei ying early in the morning. at 10.45am? but she was late. watched a movie together. 'i am legend' its a nice movie. go watch it if you haven. was suppose to meet pet after the movie. but she overslept as usual. hmmm. if there's a oversleeping competition, i think pet will win. :D but she's sick today. so cannot blame her. met joyce. went to party world to sing. sang all the songs i like. but now, i'm broke. work again tml. SIANZ.

went to work on monday. after so many months. i totally cannot take it please. omg. my leg is like fucking pain and i got sick. btw. saw this chef. quite good looking. i'm serious. better looking than elvin. but he wears this round round specs. when i saw him, i was like WOW. no no. i'm not in love with him. ar. anyhow only all of you. TIRED. spending my christmas sick. i'm a weak sickly with no love. BYE.

met pet earlier today. she was late. HAHA. (who ask you go buy ham. :D) waited for her to do her hair. waited for 2 hours plus? then went to great world city. we wanted to take a shutter bus. but we waited at the wrong side of cityhall. so we ended up waiting for 30 minutes? about there la.

so we went to the correct side i think. but it was getting late. so we decided to take a cab. after collecting the turkey which was super duper heavy. 5.5kg? too having to take bus. another excuse for taking a cab. cab down to novena. WOW. christmas is coming and town is super crowded. went to collect uncle's cake. and cab back to pet's house.

help out before the guest came. i did the presentation okay? it was nice. :D hang around till 11pm. went home after that. so fun! :D tiring.




- i have this stupid feeling that someone's trying to sntach my buddy away from me. unfortunately, i wasnt being paranoid. i thought i was. until i talked to yuva about it. she thinks so too. hmmmm. SIGH!

another super random photo.

- dont take everything for granted.
- dont make me feel guilty when its your damn fault.
- i hate you!

when all i want for christmas was you...

abit random leh.
i also dont know why. :D

to: joyce lim,
or whoever who is her friend,
please refer her to my blog.

i admit i gave you the permission to ask the friend next to you, but it doesnt mean its a permission for you to tell someone randomly. which unfortunately, happens to be our friend. after all. you need to know that this is a morning after pill. not some bloody panadol. i thought i could trust you by asking you. and you were a nurse. but i guess i was absolutely wrong. so what if you kneel down in front of the whole world and apologise? does it really salvage the situation? ask yourself.

-anita

i believe in karma.

nothing happened. fell asleep in ms ema's class. sorry. was damn tired. i wanns know my marks for my presentation. i hope that someone, the only one who hasnt presented and is pulling the whole class back, comes to school tml. because i wanna know my marks on friday. i dont want it NEXT YEAR!

" MAMBO "

all right folks. i am not gonna mention what happened at mambo tnight.
but rather, i'll be talkin bout it... as it is.
MAMBO, its not just a night where everyone drinks & gets tipsy OR drunk
OR tipsy THEN drunk, but what i noticed tnight was a different event.
i saw pple, ladies & gentlemen of ALL ages.
there were some 17s, (who shldn be there) the usual 20s,
even the 30s & 40s. i took a walk around the club, as usual, squeezing my way thru the
massive crowd of uni, jc & poly folks (who just ended their exams)
& i realised the beauty of it all.
it brings together the different pple from almost...everywhere.
teachers, students, working adults. and its really nice t see all so merry
(& nt getting into fights) for no fuckin reason.
its even more heartwarming t see reunions of ol' friends,army boys ( the young & old)
couples (those nt makin out) and even husbands with their affairs.
it's like everyones' lil escapade. :) i was with the usual clique and saw how much they enjoyed themselves.
for me. it was different, the effect of alcohol and company is equivalent.
which im suddenly reminded. xmas is drawing near.
have ya made plans? who're ya gonna celebrate it with? how's it gonna be like?
or ya gonna spend it alone? i suggest get together with friends, be it 3 or 4 friends.
its always better than spending it alone. =)
OH anyway i didn mention, the photo right up there at the top is actually the time i returned home.
surprisingly, not tired aft a night filled with activities.
i'd love t post the rest of the images up... but nah.
id rather keep my identity (whoever doesn know) under wraps. cheers t ya'll. :)

if anyone is experiencing the loss of a friend now, i do understand what you're going thru.
its hard. really fuckin hard. but the consolation is... it will only get better. :)
believe me.

monday-
stayed home the whole day cos ms pet said she wanted to have breakfast with me. then i waited and waited and waited till dinner time. okay la, dont blame you la. i know you too well. you move one muscle i also know what you are going to say. okay, so gua zhang can.
anyways, met pet in bishan for dinner. proceeded to queensway to get her training shoes. WOW! raining so big. after buying her shoes, pet, auntie, and i rushed all the way back to the house to watch the last episode of tian tang niao. was angry with joyce. she was just frantically calling and msging me like her phone bill no need money. reminds me of someone. internal sercet. and pet got fed-up. she scolded her. thanks buddy. you are always there to save me.
after the show, went to get edmund from the mrt. went back to pet's place. slack. failed to get the car from her dad. so we waited and waited and waited. finally, at 1am. buck came. he brought us to prata house and left. then, wanqi and ray came. after prata-ing, we waited for grace and lydia. grace came. so there was 6 of us? trying to squeeze into the car. suppose to go shi-sha(?), but it was closed. so we went to numbers and boat quay instead. i only drank abit k? then this lydia keep changing her words and we all gotfed up at the end of the day. sigh. dont come also good. no space for her in the car anyway. stayed there till close to 6 plus.
ray sent all of us back to pet's house, and we all slept there. feel so bad. put up at her house, then in the end, she din go training. then i was the only one up to eat breakfast. in the end, pet and edmund slept on the floor. grace, wanqi and i slept on the bed. no difference, i dont have space to sleep. BOO!

once again:
1. thanks buddy pet, edmund, wanqi, ray and grace for making monday night a successful one.
2. thanks buddy for giving me the priority for breakfast. but your pancake abit hard. my teeth cannot take it sia. :D

she says,
because i'm your good friend,
thats why i know your strengths and weaknesses.
so i can win you easily in future,
or lets say, make use of you...

they say,
"i'll be there when you need me",
"give me a call when you need someone to talk to k?"

and this is what they do,
"sorry, i'm busy. i'm studying for my exam" when you called them at 5pm?
"errrm, can you do disturb me now?"

okay. what's this? you call yourself my friends? you were never there when i needed you. i thought maybe, perhaps you might give me a call after your paper or something. but i guess i was wrong. you din even bother giving me a call until now. sigh. i was wrong about you. when the whole world was anti-samang. i was the only one who believed in you. but you gave me disappointments are disappointments. i forgave you once after another. should i forgive you this time?

FUCKOUTOFMYPEACEFULLIFE 我累了.

you've got the whole world in your hands,
you've got the whole world in your hands,
you've got the whole world in your hands,
you've got the whole world in your hands.

everything was not in the right place,
right from the minute i woke up.
woke up late because i slept late last night.
ran for the bus in case i was late.
met jane and yuva for breakfast.
sigh. it has been loooonnnngggg.
went to school late.
anyways, it was marketing. not important.
slept throughout two period.
quite shiok leh. :D
after that, no EPL cos angie lee's not in singapore.
no BZC. dont ask me why. ms ema din come.
whalao. its a total waste of time for me to go school lor.
ms ema's class has always been one of the most important class.
but she din come, so i see no point to coming to school.
what the hell. come for attendance lor...

flames to dust,
lovers to friends,
why do all good things
have to come to an end?

today, i was with my 死八婆 the whole day. we just decided that we should call each other 死八婆 and 臭婆娘. and obviously, i was the 臭婆娘.

woke up damn early in the morning. 6.50am? saw yuva at the bus stop. gave her a hug before rushing off. went to meet 死八婆 at toa payoh. she was late as usual. waited for her. got all the weirdest stares in the morning. i dont know why. dont ask me please. maybe i look like an alien. finally she came and we had breakfast. maybe it was a monday and all the monday blues, we were quite irritated with the macs girl. she spilled coffee on pet's leg and my wire. WOW. thanks ar. then while i was packing up and cleaning the wire, i was showing some face. and please. i din know she was there looking at me lor. WHALAO. that 死八婆 dont know how to tell me one you know. she just sat there and kept laughing. and i was quite shock when the macs girl was looking. i wont be hanging around toa payoh macs for quite some time. ah-doi! malu sial. did abit of changes for powerpoint, after that, sat outside mos and pet smoked and we did the usual slacking.

went to amk hub to meet edmund for lunch. in the end, we just sat and slacked at mos AGAIN! pet left halfway, leaving me with edmund alone. WOW. thanks ar. so we were bored and decided to go shopping for 死八婆 boaster. found a nice design. went home, left the laptop at home before rushing out to meet pet again. met her at harbourfront. went to auntie's office and played table-soccer with aries. in the end, two against one, the one which is pet, won. sigh.

went to the rooftop at vivo to slack. then wind was so big that the boaster flew away like ten thousand times. after that, went to raffles and met buck and ali? came back to bishan. went home after that. what a tiring day man. but i like.

ps: i will be honest with you from now on. not even one sentence of lie will come out from my mouth. i wont let you feel lonely again. i love you k? 死八婆. :D

things didn turn out as planned.
i guess i lost the chance.
so now im plannin the next step & i guess
that wld be t say goodbye. i cant erase you from my memory.
i'll just let those fond memories fade.
its just fuckin hard
its gonna take time, time... & more time.
im in a state of confusion. im feel lost, just totally lost.
even lost my drive in life.
i find myself smiling for the silliest reasons.
tryin t squeeze a genuine smile. a genuine laugh.
i cant bring myself t look at you. i just cant do it.
so much guilt -- so much regret.
fuuuuck this feeling.
" & i just wanna thank you. for those times. "

thanks for being there buddy... thanks for tryin so hard. thanks for the bolster.
=) thanks for the love.

i cant get t slp.
& this feelin is killin me... i know who im supp t be thinking of.
who am i not supp t be thinkin about.
i want t forgive you & i want t forget you.
i wish i cld tell u im sorry and i wished all these never happened.
i wish we cld be like last time. but i know its nt possible.
i just caused my own chaos. this feelin sucks.
like fuck. im fuckin up my own life.
i wish i cld spend sometime alone.
i know why they say friends are impt.
there are certain pple that understand u and some that just dont.
tell me please.
what do i exactly want?
kill me. somebody.

friday: wanted to zao first period marketing. but giselle woke me up early in the morning. so i rushed and met her at J8. morning bus ride to the interchange wasnt a pleasant one. maybe i was a little irritated that i had to wake up so early or... i dont know. but i was quite pissed at all thos aunties or kiasu singaporeans who was pushing their way up the bus. whalaoeh. queue la. you scared the bus run away without you ar? then i found a seat and sat beside this uncle. okay. the irritatedness was gone. happily listening to my mp3. then the uncle wanted to get off. so i moved and let him go. he had to scream at me, in front of the whole bus just because his butt was too big and he couldnt go out? thanks ar. bloody hell. so was in the nad mood and trying to make myself happy on the bus.

met giselle, walked to school with her. was late, but its okay. who cares. in the end, mr liau asked us to do our own project. seems like i made a very wrong choice to going to school so early in the morning. after two periods of slacking, went to the auditorium for the NDP'07 talk. please. i din write wrongly. it was indeed 2007. he was telling us how he built the platform on the water. i was bored. dead bored. played bingo.

after school, went home. rest awhile before getting ready for the red dot job. was in black top and in school skirt and school shoes. WOW. so ugly. met giselle and jay in the train. they were happily chatting, and i was in silence. all the way. went to tanjong pagar. met ning xin. went to the coffee shop nearby and had dinner. was early at red dot. and started the photo taking spree. haha. all the guest were like what the hell. looking at us like we are weirdos taking photo. then came ash and indra. more photos.

at around 6.30pm. we were allocated out jobs. i wanted to be the usher. while ningxina and giselle wanted to be at the registration counter. however, the position was just the opposite. ash and jay were the bouncers. indra the handsome, was the doorman. expected. registration counter was so busy, i din even have time to think of other stuff but smile to the winners and invited guest. after the award winning session started, two girls were sent home. and all six of us were praying that we dont get sent home. in the end, we didnt. all six worked till eleven. haha. $30 into my wallet. i was sent inside to work with giselle and ningxin. that two idiots were happily taking picture down there. jessie came in and asked us if we wanted a drink. giselle thought it was juice. where got juice light blue in colour one? it was alcohol. but it was so er xin. in the end, jessie finished it up for us.

then we had burger. small one. shared among three of us. edmund came and passed me charger. handed it to indra. continued working. finished work at 11pm. edmund came with wanqi again. then we were slacking around. wanted to get them food, but all gone. went home after that. dad fetched ningxin home. okay. and i fell asleep soon after i fell onto the bed. i like the experience.

我走错了一步.
可能我真的错了.