i wanna believe in all the miracles too,
i wanna believe in all the fairy tales with you.
i want the happy ever after,
really i do.
but how can that be when i dont know if heavens true.

but there's no eternity for a atheist like me.

when i die is that the end? no other way in?
i'll never see your face again, again, again babe.
i want to die happily after,
but how can that be when i dont know if heavens true.

and if you should go without me,
just promise me that you will always be happy.

when everything comes to an end,
i felt like i was the only one left in this world,
hanging around like a dead soul,
with no support at all.
no one was there to lend me a hand,
all i could remember was their laughters,
laughters of mockery.

the world is no longer the same.
there's only me, to help myself.

current song on repeat : here in my arms - hellogoodbye

another song that brings me back in time.
when all things come to an end,
its when you start thinking of the beginning.
ever so sweet.
memories that linger.

presentation for BZC is tomorrow.
so is the release of 'o' levels results.


if i could see you right now,
i would run to you,
and hug you, like nobody's business.

why is it that i'm stooping so low to help someone who doesnt appreciate?
so what if he is younger than all of us?
does it give him the privilege to be so irresponsible?
so what if he has family problems?
dont tell me government allow you to defer NS just because you have family problems.
stop throwing your bloody fucking tantrums at me!
LEARN TO GROW UP BASTARD!
immature boy. CHAOLANJIAO!

jay asked me why i din take action when he did all these shit to me.
i simply ask them for the answer.
they said, it was not time yet.
the whole class is waiting for the right time.

never felt so tu-lan before.
if i knew i had to do a project alone right from the start,
i would have started it long ago.
seriously. its not an excuse.
but i asked if i could do the project alone,
when school ended.
but ms ema din allow.
when i asked her that question,
i already foresee this was coming.
but i cant say i'm right until tomorrow.
i finally understand what kaihoe said,
ite guys are just not matured enough.
no offence at all.

the fear of getting de-barred.

妈! 我累了! 算了!

i'm in school. guess i'm having monday blues. not talking to anyone. just feel like crying......... DAMN YOU*

ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! i hate it! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de! ta ma de!

*so, its a bad news.

i have already planned my day properly the minute i got out of bed. but it all got screwed up. badly. giselle said that she was gonna be earlier, so i had to rush out of the house, wait for the earlier bus. in the end, i was earlier than her. WOW. thanks ar. okay, this is the thing. giselle: if you are ealier than expected time of meeting, you have to wait for the person patiently. you can only scold the person if she doesnt appear at the time of meeting. give and take. not take and take.

hmmm. never mind. went school after breakfast. mr liau's lesson, as boring as ever. then. there was this talk about students going overseas for community service all. after that was ms ema's lesson. ended late. pia all the way down to great world. think i'm old already. had lunch with pet and hanz. after that. rushed down to nyp to meet peiying. walked back to amk hub. the end.

*i'm determined enough to ignore you.

*i'll take you back to the start.

was feeling ait bored, so i went to read my past posts. interesting eh. HAHA. school was nothing too bad. just that maybe, lessons should be more meaningful. okay, thats all i have to say. moody-ness.

school was just normal today. reached school abit earlier than the rest. ms ema's class. almost fell asleep. ohmy. went to cityhall with giselle, debra, zhiwen and shawal. went to magic wok to eat when we arrived. first time eating there, but the food was nice. but too much vegetables. what to do? healthier choice what. after that, the initial plan was to use a clean toilet at funan. in the end, guess what. we all went into HMV to read books. oh my dear. talking about books, i want to borrow or buy the book, 'p.s. i love you'. AAAAAHHH!!!

*i foresee myself liking DBSK. i hope not.

monday was the first day of school reopens. like any other day, mrs lee's lesson was pure boredom. we talked about china trip. and talked amongst ourselves. so, when we were damn bored, debra, i forgot who and i went to the steps to look at the new january intake students. hmmmm. more girls than guys. soon, the whole class came to look. some were bio-ing girls, some were eyeing for guys. just like steven said, potential ah bengs and ah lians. be careful people.
school was full of laughters. lets see. because of mandy and jessica? they are two funny people man. telling us about some korean body show, quite amazing man. maybe i can watch it. or maybe.... school ended with ms ema's ghost stories. WOW. i wished i can visit these place one day. can test my guts for that. (:
after school, went to town with giselle. hanged around for a while. after that, took a bus to great world and waited for pet to end work. after she came, we waited for the shuttle bus for DAMN long. but not as long as the shuttle bus i waited the other time at city hall. (because both of us were waiting at the wrong side.....) accompanied pet for a haircut. yupp. went home after that. almost died of starvation whole waiting for my dad to buy supper home.

went to school on a tuesday morning, feeling tired. school was normal like all the other days. met kaihoe after school. slacked awhile, shopped around. went home. i found out: we have a common person that we dont like. (:

went back to school today. was suppose to go with pet. but, i dont know where she went missing. call her also never answer. but main purpose of this trip is to see how auntie is. she look fine to me. miss her so much.

new drink stall aunties, new stalls being set up. hmmmm. the sec ones are so short. and i seriously thought maybe they came into the wrong school. ALAMS. waited for Tims to come. then had lunch. waited for everybody to finish school. grace, steph, police and thief. yeah, thats about it. slack in school. heard some new gossips, rumours. as usual. went home at 2plus. because pet din turn up.

went home to take a nap. damn tired sia. talk to giselle last night till quite late. mum came home, went to buy dinner. did i ever tell you how much i hate those c**** people. yeah, after buying dinner from them, i hate them 10x more. no offence. but yeah.

i guess new year was not a happy one afterall.
new year resolution?
-try to attend school as much as possible.
-not to have too high hopes on anyone.
yeah, thats all.