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not knowing./ 2:13 PM
Thursday, May 29, 2008
it can be tiring to be a friend to everyone.
but i do it most willingly, send them home when they're drunk, clean them up when they puke on themselves, drive them home when they insist on having their car with them no matter how late in the night, i'll make it a point to get dressed and come down for them. oh well, let's hope theyre all worth while. =) i know most of them are. scared me at the thought of what it'll be like when i get the car. heh. so long as you don take this friendship for granted, i'll make sure we're friends til the very end. i'm not pointing out to anyone in particular... its just thoughts for tonight. what if the fever burns my brains and i never get up in the morning? will you all know how much you mean to me? i certainly hope so. out. PS. |
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/ 6:50 PM
Sunday, May 25, 2008
things are getting a little complicated.
i din expect going out with a friend, could actually lead to losing him. it was just pure teasing that people always do. like how classmates will make fun of jay and i, how carlton club will make fun of vinod and i. i din expect it to be so serious, that i lost my friend, overnight. when i knew he was avoiding me, i tried to salvage this friendship. but it takes two hands to clap. i was the one putting in all the efforts, but he wasnt helping. it's kind of hurting. if only you knew how it feels. |
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/ 2:30 PM
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
i'm so afraid to sleep now.
i get nightmares. and i wake up crying. |
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/ 11:00 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2008
last day at carlton hotel.
felt really upset leaving, afterall, i've been working there for one and a half years. i'll miss Cat Phua. the way she makes fun of me. the way she makes fun of other people. how bad became bed, payment became pear-ment. i'll miss Nikki. the way she curse and swear at Isrealis. the times i was irritating her while she was msging, and she shouted fuck you. (: i'll miss Nana Choo. the way she was stress and shouted over the phone and gave the person a shock. the times we ate salmon with cheese. dont think i'll be able to eat it anymore. i'll miss Fidarus. the way he calls me ah mui like nobody's business. the way he makes fun of vinod and i. i told myself, this is only a part of my life. i'm just moving on. |
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warmth./ 11:39 AM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
you're the one who set it up Now you're the one t make it stop I'm the one who's feelin lost right now. When you begin t notice just one face among the rest, When you begin t hold one hand that always feels the best, When you begin to listen for the sound of just one voice, You realize your heart has made a very special choice. It is only with the heart, that no one can see rightly, What is essential, is invisible to the eye. Many meaningful phrases for today. Another day went by, just like that. Time's really flying man. Soon, you'll start your own lil family. And i, will be really happy. Don't think anyone can comprehend this feeling Im feeling right now. maybe you can, its a puddle of emotions. Certain things you do and words you say that brings us all the wrong way. Have they found out? Should i be staying away? Oh My God, gimme some answers please. Dropped by Carlton Hotel earlier in the night to accompany her. She invited my Lex and i. How could we not turn up. The hosting, the food and the drinks, hey, it was fantastic ok. if only i didn't have dinner. i could have dumped in more man. my afternoon nap was really really good, its been a long while since anyone did that. warmth. i figured i was smiling in my sleep, might have looked like a clown. i wouldn't trade anything for these times. nothing. all in all, today was a great day, excellent, fantastic, enjoyed myself to the ultimate. good lunch company, although it was drizzling a lil, but it was still good. thanks for coming over. =) thanks for everything, thanks for being the person you are. thanks for being there when the rest of the world refuses to answer my calls and reply my text, when it seems like my phone is spoilt, you make me realize its actually workin by being at the other end. :) cheers to ten years of friendship and so much more. |
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growing up./ 7:57 AM
Monday, May 05, 2008
ive learned that the pple you care about most about in life
are taken away from you too soon and the less important ones never go away. ive learned that no matter how much i care, some pple are just assholes. 2 great things ive learnt in life. current song on itunes : cant fight this feeling anymore, journey. it's really a good song express everything i'm feeling now. im a lil tired, my mind's nt wondering like how it normally does. i realize, actions bear consequences. your actions may affect those around you. i don know what im saying. pet, you know it's wrong, so now, don't go with it. if you have to, move away, isolate yourself. why torture yourself feeling the way you feel? why? the lingering question for the uncontrollable emotions within you. feel like it's a whirlpool, all that happens is, you sink deeper and deeper and it takes a whole lot to pull you out of it. now stop sinking. stop. you gotta put a fuckin stop to it. dont be manipulated by the environment. be yourself, the person you've always been. i thought you were stronger than that. guess i was wrong. ive forgotten what's this all about. |
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whr'd you go. i kinda miss you. already./ 11:00 AM
Saturday, May 03, 2008
sat night. what am i to say. the weekend's killing me. i want to see you. again.
and no, she's not in love. i am. or at least i think i am. the physical pain's all worth it. i cant ask you out. no, it's not right. i don know what i'm doing, yet i think i know. is it worth it? the decision will be made on a daily basis. i'm gon limit myself to twice a week. no more than that. today's game was great. or at least i think it was. ive learnt to listen. or at least, i'm trying. i cant be in control all the time. usually i'm not. am i? i don know. im happy, i know i am. my life is more or less sorted out. i think. i can never be too sure. "if you fall, i will catch you, i will be waitin. time after time." after your picture fades, and darkness is turned to grey. im wonderin if you're ok. you said, go slow, i fall behind. |