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/ 8:36 PM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
its my fault! to let you intrude into my friendship with L. its my fault. to let everyone down. its my fault! its my fault! its all my fault! what can i do now? what to do? what should i do? i really dont know. whats all these? why why why why why why why why why why why. BLAME YOURSELF anita!
ANITA! it was all your fault! stop blaming the others. i dont know why. why are you so stupid? she hurt you once before. and you chose to believe her than L just because L was irritating? what your damn bloody problem. wake up la. L already told you to make the correct choice of friends during the retreat right. why you still choose to believe C? whats your problem. see la! so many people trying to help you. and what did you do? let them down one by one. you are so useless! so stupid! so....... i really dont know what to say about you! why must you make everyone give up on you then you realise your mistake. have you woken up? tell me! wake up from your stupid lala land please. stupidest person ever seen, YOU! understand? I HATE YOU! get lost! NOW! |
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/ 8:15 PM
i dont noe what just happened. i just realised that i was manipulated by someone. i dont noe what to do. because i know i was wrong about L. sorry would not be able to mend the scar that i left for her. i dont know what to do now, knowing that she wouldnt forgive me! just what did i land myself into. just tell me!
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/ 12:14 AM
todae was sucha fun dae. i went over to yuva's place for deevapali dinner. then we had this surprise thing for out birthdae girls, candice and sheena. =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA AND CANDICE. hehe. dei dei organised the suprise. so it was good. haha. actually the stomach ache was quite fake but passable la hor. =) i hope i will come back again next year. i swear dei dei was damn funny at yuva's house. she practically think that that's her house la. i was like what the hell when i heard her asking yuva's sis to do this and that for her. the most embarrassing thing is the father did it for deidei. dei ar. dont embarrass yourself next time k? but come my hse cannot like that hor. come my hse just order me to do whatever you want me to do. BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOST BEAUTIFUL NUMBER ONE! and you should know it by now right? =) kk. end here. my dei dei tired already. need to go to bed with her.. shhhhhhh.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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/ 12:09 AM
nat seow, who is my tian mi mi plus my love plus the person who can make me smile alot when i am sad, is jealous that i missed grace and not her. SO NOW! I AM GOING TO TELL EVERYONE WHO READS THIS BLOG HOW MUCH I LOVE MY TIAN MI MI!!! here it goes....
tian mi mi. you know you are the only one who can make me smile when i am sad. so... be prepared as i will come look for you when i am sad. you are the only one who can bring that smile on my face when i am sad. those calls you made when i am sad, were meaningful. i will always remember the care and concern you showed me when i am down. hehe. this is one reason why i love you so much. next, will be your craziness. those videos that you shot in my fone, will remind there till forever. i will not delete it for anyone. not even....... =) you know when i miss you, i will listen to the songs that you sang to me, and it simply melts my heart. can you see a puddle of water on the floor now? yesh. thats me. cos i am thinking of you and melting at the same time. hehe. dont be jealous of me missing grace. when it comes to the loneliest night ever, the first person that comes in my mind would be you. NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU! no one else can replace you in my heart. so you cannot forget me if i go japan k? hehe. because the first person i will miss is you. and tan ronghua! i know you are going to read this! so you better read carefully and tell everything i say here to my tian mi mi ar. i think not safe la. i think its better if you print it out. i scared you forget and miss out all the important details and tell her all the not so important ones, then later her heart break, mine will also break. hehe. thanks ronghua for telling nat everything. thanks ar! |
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/ 1:17 AM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
i can see your answer through your actions.
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/ 7:57 PM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
i can only pray that history doesnt repeat. because it hurts me this much.
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/ 12:49 AM
i feel or i am paranoid. i dont noe if this is the correct word but yeah. i dont really knows if L wants this friendship with me. i have been trying really very very hard to salvage this friendship with L, but she seem to be pushing me away. so far, again and again. i sometimes wonder if i am doing the right thing. even S thinks that i should keep a distance from her. argh! i dont know. i shouldnt let her affect me. she is not important to me at all. why am i even so bothered. P was angry with me for 'being so kind'. because L called to ask me to get something for her when she was nearby. P was unhappy about it as she felt that L was making use of me. but yeah. i dont know. am i too kind? am i so easily bullied? maybe you should stop using all the tactics that you use on me, L. it is really starting to annoy me quite a bit. its kinda affecting me. you ruined my day but concluding something that you thought i started again, but guess what! since i promised P that i will never ever touch those sticks again, i will not. the promises that i made to her will always be kept. but those that i made with you will be kept, if only you stop all those nonsense you are doing to me now cause its hurting me. i admit that you are a nice friend. nice in every songle way. i don noe what had happened to our friendship. so do you want this friendship? i am really exhausted. if you dont want it, just tell me. i will stop bothering you. cos guess what, you are not important to me after all. you are just another......... i choose to trust you in that note you wrote to me. i will always rmb what you said to me. whatever you said to me, might be a scar left there. its a false front i am showing to you. i put it up to show you that i would not let this friendship of ours go so easily. but if you don want it, just say.
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/ 12:45 AM
great week. its the mugging week and the no school week. so much for the no school week can? everydae go back to school. anita! stop complaining. at least you studied! which is good. i went for ACJC open house todae. damn embarrassing cause i was the only one cheering for our school netball team. actually, it was only nat and pet. BECAUSE! i could only spot them, thanks to miss calli too who sat so far. haha. but it was fun. saw someone. shhh. cannot say. anyways. after that calli, sam and and i went to KFC. suddenly, i thought of GRACE. scary ehh. haha. i missed all the fun that we had. it was the crazy jokes that we cracked. the stupid things that we did. i was just wondering where she disappeared to. missing like some alien! haven seen her for a week and i am starting to miss her. what happens if i don see her for the whole of next year. you think i will miss her till i am dead? haha. thats how much i miss her. GRACE! what did you do to me to make me miss you so much? you spike my drink issit? or you added stuffs into my food? admit it now, if not....... hehe. I REALLY MISS THIS CRAZY GIRL. she makes me laugh. and she might be the only few who can bring laughter to my life. yeah grace, agree? love you loads grace. really missed you. where did you go, i miss you so.......
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/ 7:50 PM
Sunday, October 08, 2006
so many things happened for the past two weeks. i know it was hard for them. it was hard for me too. i wouldnt have known how to handle it if i were them. how i wish we could turn back the clock, then nothing of such would have happened. we have to move on and put it at the back of us. its a lesson learnt and we have to gain back our trust. although its not easy as it is said, we all know we will have to try and do it. and yes we can. can we?
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