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/ 12:49 AM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
i feel or i am paranoid. i dont noe if this is the correct word but yeah. i dont really knows if L wants this friendship with me. i have been trying really very very hard to salvage this friendship with L, but she seem to be pushing me away. so far, again and again. i sometimes wonder if i am doing the right thing. even S thinks that i should keep a distance from her. argh! i dont know. i shouldnt let her affect me. she is not important to me at all. why am i even so bothered. P was angry with me for 'being so kind'. because L called to ask me to get something for her when she was nearby. P was unhappy about it as she felt that L was making use of me. but yeah. i dont know. am i too kind? am i so easily bullied? maybe you should stop using all the tactics that you use on me, L. it is really starting to annoy me quite a bit. its kinda affecting me. you ruined my day but concluding something that you thought i started again, but guess what! since i promised P that i will never ever touch those sticks again, i will not. the promises that i made to her will always be kept. but those that i made with you will be kept, if only you stop all those nonsense you are doing to me now cause its hurting me. i admit that you are a nice friend. nice in every songle way. i don noe what had happened to our friendship. so do you want this friendship? i am really exhausted. if you dont want it, just tell me. i will stop bothering you. cos guess what, you are not important to me after all. you are just another......... i choose to trust you in that note you wrote to me. i will always rmb what you said to me. whatever you said to me, might be a scar left there. its a false front i am showing to you. i put it up to show you that i would not let this friendship of ours go so easily. but if you don want it, just say.
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